Dating has long been considered a challenge for the heart, but in the current economic climate, it is increasingly becoming a significant burden on the wallet. Faced with the realities of inflation and broader financial pressures, many singles are finding themselves at a crossroads. Some are choosing to step away from the dating scene entirely, while others are opting to scale back their expectations by choosing more affordable activities. Instead of the traditional, high-cost outings to fancy restaurants or upscale bars, daters are increasingly gravitating toward simpler, low-cost alternatives such as grabbing a coffee, going for a walk, or spending time together in a local park.
This widespread shift toward budget-conscious dating has naturally led to the creation of new terminology to describe the phenomenon: "infladating" and "dateflation." While some might view the decline of pricey, extravagant dates as a disappointment, relationship and dating experts argue that this trend may actually represent a positive shift for modern love lives. By moving away from the pressure of "financial flexing," individuals are encouraged to get more creative and prioritize genuine human connection over the cost of the outing.
Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts," notes that the economic reality is forcing many people to reconsider their participation in dating. "The reality is, a lot of people are struggling in today’s economy and they’re opting out of dating completely because it’s too expensive," Chan explains. She observes this trend particularly among her male clients, who often feel a sense of embarrassment if they cannot afford to take a date to a high-end restaurant. For these individuals, Chan believes the "infladating" mentality serves as a helpful antidote.
The impact of the economy extends beyond the activities themselves; it is also fundamentally changing how people decide who they are willing to date. As the cost of going out rises, individuals are becoming more selective about their potential partners. Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and the author of "F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story," points out that people are performing a new kind of calculation. "People have a different calculation of which dates to go on and not just what they're doing on the date, but who is worthy of that date," Hoffman says. Consequently, people are less likely to commit to expensive outings during the first or second date, preferring to wait until they see a real possibility of a future relationship before making a significant monetary investment.
Chan further emphasizes that many daters actually prefer lower-cost, low-stakes dates, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. She questions the appeal of being locked into a five-course meal with a stranger. Instead, she suggests that keeping dates simple and short allows both parties to put each other at ease while performing a "vibe check." If there is no connection, the date can conclude after an hour. If the chemistry is strong, the couple can choose to extend the outing or create anticipation for a second, more formal date. These simple outings also remove the pomp and circumstance of a pricey evening, allowing people to focus on what truly matters: whether the other person is thoughtful and if they enjoy being in their company.
However, experts also offer a word of caution regarding those who choose to spend excessively early on. If a person is "overinvesting" by buying expensive meals or planning luxurious excursions before truly knowing their date, it could be a sign of love bombing. "Be wary of the person who pulls out all the stops on a first date," Chan warns. While grand gestures are often interpreted as romantic, they can be a performance that says more about how the person wants to be perceived than how they actually feel. Because the intensity has not been earned through a real connection, Chan advises daters to remain cautious of such over-the-top displays.
Finances touch nearly every aspect of life, to varying degrees. Your dating life is no exception.
"It should be short and sweet," Chan says of a first date. "That way, if you don’t have any connection, you can leave after an hour. Or if there is a connection, you can go to a second place or activity to keep momentum going. Either way, if it goes well, then you create anticipation for the next date, which can be something like a dinner."
